In the blue corner...

Weighing in at a colossal 1.3kg, we have the ultimate picnic maker, the bastion of Britishness, the king of savoury snacks and meaty goodness hailing all the way from the home of posh delicacies and the inventor of the Scotch Egg, Fortnum & Mason, please welcome to the ring the Hand Raised Pork Pie (made with outdoor bred Lincolnshire pork).

Before I start the review, I'd like to thank the lovely people at Reading Room for giving this pie to me as my parting gift. My first thought was how am I going to carry the pie home, but to my luck my good colleagues soon found a solution for this too.

It should also be noted that the comparison of this pie with the others that we have reviewed is like putting Mike Tyson in the ring with Pee-wee Herman, there was only going to be one winner. But then telling you that without elaborating wouldn't put fits of jealousy in the stomachs of those who didn't get to try a tasty morsel (or two) of this magnificent pie.

The look and presentation is as important as the pie itself, so when your pie comes wrapped in an understated plastic cellophane covering you realise this ain’t no supermarket junk. Then you notice the note that declares it has been hand raised since infancy. You take a step back and accept that the pie will do the talking.

We started off in a reserved manner, all sharing small slices, "if you cut that any thinner it'll still be vegan." But it didn't take long for the gannets to arrive, "what, you're having a whole slice, it's not a cake." And very soon had one of the biggest tasting groups ever assembled for such an occasion.

From the very first cut the pastry proved beautifully crisp on the outside morphing into soft and flavoursome on the inside. As one acute taster noted, "ah pork lard, with all the flavours of the pork rainbow." Perfectly balanced all the way through, from flavour to thickness.

Inside we found a densely packed pork filling, comprised of a good high percentage of the finest cuts of hand reared pork and seasoned just the way we like it while retaining that oh so natural taste. What did we expect, no less from this decadent pie, and certainly none of that pork is pink food colouring.

Between the pork and pastry was, as officially described, a "seam of cool jelly". Well proportioned to keep the the pork beautifully moist without upsetting the less traditionally aligned who can't handle their well-jellied pies. It's not often I rate the jelly layer highly.

And then there was no more, 1.3kg or pork and pastry gone to a better home. I was going to give it a 9.5 across the board to keep the competition coming, but then I saw two other reviews with a rating of 9. Rubbish, don't they know how to rate a pie.

Overall rating 11/10.

Better than cheese sandwiches

A quick sojourn away to Wales for some canoeing always requires a few snacks. As usual we brought enough sandwich filling for all involved. And at lunch on the first day as we were all extracting the breaded plastic cheese and ham, we discovered the instructors had already located the local butcher, in fact there were two, and were pulling out of their pockets the much more appealing pork pies.

So off I went, two for me and two for the tasters back home, and here starts the review. Which is most appropriately capped off by the exclamation of "Wow, they come in a paper bag", upon their unveiling to the tasting team. Upon which it was unanimously considered that all serious pies come in a paper bag.

However, it quickly became clear that the pie was lacking in one key area: the pastry. Particularly on the top where it averaged a very poor 3mm in thickness and had the structural integrity more akin to the slums of Mumbai than the well insulated homes of old Blighty. Trust the Welsh to get that one wrong.

All was forgiven when we made our first incision into this pie: the outer pastry was good; the sausage meat was exceptionally sausagy and chunky, a good cobbly mixture full of varied flavours, none of that supermarket rubbish; with just enough jelly "tucked around the back" to keep us interested but not put off.

All in all a very good pie which made up for the poor pastry with a good filing and a beautifully crumpled paper bag.

Pastry 3/10, sausage 8/10, jelly 6/10, packaging 9/10.

From our own correspondent - Empada de porco

I have spent the past two weeks at the most westerly point of Europe, known to ancient mariners as the “End of the world”, their last view of Europe before they set off into uncharted waters, eventually to discover the new world. Life here is simple for the traveler, long days spent on quiet beaches, surfing, sailing and scuba diving. Lunches invariably made up of grilled fish and cold beer, enjoyed slowly in the shade of a beachside bar or fisherman’s café in the harbor.

The locals are relaxed and, deprived of the usual tourist attractions and calm seas of the Mediterranean resorts, overseas visitors tend to be of the more adventurous type, interested in the rolling breakers and beating sun. From my current vantage point I can see just a group of 4, impossibly tanned and toned, surfboards cast about, soaking up the sun, scanning the horizon.

No Pies

This idyll of barbecued fish had left me wistful for the home country and whilst scanning through a local guide book I noted that a pioneering Englishman had started to make Pork Pies in Portugal. On my next trip to the supermarket I spied the pie – In a freezer cabinet! I can only surmise that local tastes do not extend to a need for daily pie sales from the deli counter and so this pie has been relegated to the cold box. The specialist nature of the item came at a financial cost too, this pie set me back (at current exchange rates) nearly £5, for a pie of 350g.  The Portugese translation : "empada de porco"

I took the pie back to the house I had taken in the little fishing village of Burgau and left it to defrost. The next day, it was time for the tasting. The pie was of the “vented” type, with a hole in the top, inserting the knife it was apparent that, perhaps as a result of freezing, the pastry had an unsettlingly “flexible” texture, but the knife cut a clean slice and the meat filling held together well. Unfortunately, the colour of the filling ranged from pink to grey, giving the pie a “part cooked” appearance which was not appealing. Still, after all that grilled fish and fresh barbecued vegetables, I was hankering for pie and took a bite.

The pastry texture and jelly surround were of a surprisingly pleasant texture and the meat itself a great consistency, this pie had all the hallmarks of a premium product. But then the salt hit. After days being pounded by the Atlantic surf, I feel that I was more habituated to salt than usual, but the level of salt in this pie was untenable. I couldn’t believe the saltiness and hesitantly tested the pastry, which was, as suspected very, very salty. I then tried the meat, again far, far saltier than is comfortable. I persevered with the slice of pie but was left thirty and salted to the point of being preserved. The pie went back in the fridge and I tried again the next day, but again the salt was too much and the remainder of the pie was unfortunately abandoned.

 Flavour balance: Salt: 0%, no other discernible flavours.
 Overall Score: 2/10 (2 points for blazing a trail in a new market, 8 withheld for salt poisoning)

Marks and Spencer's Celebration Melton Mowbray Pork Pie

This wasn't Just any Pie, this was a Marks and Spencer "Celebration Melton Mowbray Pork Pie", or "Celeb Pork Pie" as the receipt informed me.

The first thing I noticed when I picked up this pie was the weight. This was one heavyweight pie weighing in at 440g. No expense had been spared on the design, with the distinctive Great British bunting decoration printed on the packaging.
Opening the box revealed the pie in it's full glory. Standing proud before us was a large glossed pie with encrusted Union flag encrusted on top.

The maiden incision in to the stiff upper crust had so much resistance it nearly fractured my forefinger. Pushing through the pain barrier the crust remained firm as the knife cut through the pastry and meat down to the final crunch of the base. 

The cut revealed a beautifully rustic meat core that appeared less processed and firm than many we've reviewed in the past. The meat was surrounded by a moderate, but not overly generous protective layer of gelatin.

Taking my first bite I realised this was probably the moist meat I've had in mouth this year. The meat was succulent and melted away off the tongue with fine seasoning balancing favours as they penetrated the meat to excite my palette. The pastry was just as full of flavour as the kernel of this pie, this was likely enhanced by the fatty grease on the undercarriage of the pie.

The pie was a delight to consume, the not so complex but complimentary flavours were a real hit with other pie partakers. This really was a celebratory pie.

Flavour balance: meat: 74%, pastry 23%, gelatine 3%

Overall Score: 9/10

Sainsbury's Crusty Bake Snack Pork Pie 2-pack

Sadly, Tesco lacked pork pies of any description, so I had to throw myself on the mercy of Sainsbury's, and their Crusty Bake Snack Pork Pie 2-pack, which I think Justene reviewed some time ago.

The question is, has it moved on from the somewhat mixed review - 'gag reflex', 'very greasy', 'low on seasoning' - its ancestor received?

I'll admit to having low expectations. It was 3pm on a Friday afternoon, I'd had my lunch already, and I'd skipped the pricier options on the shelf in favour of something more compact.

Opening the packet provided no cause for concern; my chosen pie of the pair looking crisp and smelling suitably porky. The cut: demanding, as it should be - I'm a man who likes his meaty goodness densely packed, right up to the sides. Encouragingly little of the unspecified gelatinous goo my esteemed colleague had detected nearly five years' hence, despite the wholesale damage to the financial markets caused by the sub-prime mortgage crisis in the intervening period, and the resultant austerity to which we have become accustomed. This is pie made in the UK, not Guangzhou, and it shows.

The taste: remarkably good. The aftertaste a little peppery perhaps, but a delightfully meaty bouquet, with pastry not likely to trouble Trading Standards, being both baked and undeniably crusty. 

Ultimately, this is a brace of taste, a pair with flair, a twosome I found quite woosome: unassuming little pies which deliver on their £1.09 for two price tag, and will get you coming back for another piece. Politically, economically, socially, culturally, the intervening years may have been tough, but the piemasters of J Sainsbury have not been surrendering to the gloom. They've taken the salt- and fat-reduction regulations on the chin... and been cooking up a treat in reply.

Flavour balance: meat: 60%, pastry 38%, gelatine 2%

Overall Score: 7/10

Charters Butchers - Large Pork Pie

Wikipedia will have you believe that the first pies were developed around 9,500bc during the Egyptian Neolithic period, but as any Yorkshireman will tell you, t' pie were created in gods own country long before t'gyptians got hold of it. I was therefore delighted to find that this weeks pie had arrived overnight from a butchers in Driffield, East Yorkshire, carrying with it the hope and dignity of the nations largest county.

Yorkshire had sent its best for consideration, and by best I mean largest. This pie was massive, a meal for a family of 4 if served with mushy peas. It wasn’t just the scale of the pie that impressed though, it was obviously a locally baked delicacy. The pie crust displaying signs of hand crafting and the filling having escaped a little during cooking, glazing part of the top. Not only that, but the pie arrived in a white paper bag, twisted at the corners and with a slight transparency where the goodness of the pie had passed into the bag. We are dealing here with an artisanal behemoth, unfettered by shipping and storage concerns.

Cutting into the beast took some effort, although the pastry maintained structural integrity, the sheer meatiness of the filling meant that a sharper knife would have been appropriate. Having taken out a slice and inspected the centre it was obvious that this was a very meaty pie. The filling having a chopped meat consistency and amply filling the pie crust from top to bottom. An onlooker remarked that the aroma could be detected a good 5 yards away, by this point, whether through hunger or pie-pheremones, the crowd were becoming increasingly excited.

With a delicate seasoning and a subtle crust, the meat was the hero in this confection. Chunky, chopped meat bringing a mouth-feel for a pie that in this reviewers opinion will take some beating. A special mention must be made for the jelly in this pie, far removed from the rubbery lining so common in the supermarket pie, the jelly in this little slice of heaven helped not only to fill the gaps between meat and pastry, but also between meat and meat... so textured was the filling. This jelly was of a particularly light nature and was a credible partner for the meat and an integral part of the taste.

Suffice to say that this pie redefined standards on the blog. One Scottish taster, a beatific smile across his face, idly wondered aloud whether that was the best pie tested yet.

Flavour balance: Pastry 20%, Pork 50%, Seasoning 10%, Gelatine 20%

Overall Score: 9/10

Sainsbury's basics 4 Pork Pies

Our first budget pie review. Four classic 110g pies in a cheap plastic film with a bonus flimsy plastic tray, this tasting session wasn't starting off too well. Going on first impressions these pies frankly looked dull. Glaze was very minimal and they looked tough and unappetising.

Now trying not to judge pie by it's crust we ploughed on with this tasting session and the cutting took place. This pie was one tough cookie slicing with a firm resistance to the knife during pork penetration although with minimal breakage the outer crusty protection.

Once cut-up and splayed open like a cheap hooker on Friday night this pie revealed a grey mass of lacklustre pork meat packed hard inside with no room to breath. The meat was firmly pushing against the dry walls of the crust. Disappointingly there was no jelly to help the pork slip down more easily and was definitely missing from the taste.

This pie did have a meaty taste but was distinctly lacking any lingering flavour from seasoning or quality meat, maybe that is explained by the 47% meat content. Another expert taster noted the "bland after-crust" which developed following mastication.

On the plus side it was very morish and disappeared pretty quickly with one of our directors salivating for a second helping. Sadly another one opted for ketchup as a complimentary condiment. Sacrilege!

All this sounds very negative however remember this pie is a budget pie. Now here's the killer point. This pack of pies cost 98p! YES! That's a whopping 24.5p of pie. 

Flavour balance: Pastry 52%, Pork 47%, Seasoning 1%

Overall Score: 7/10