Pork me, that pie's good!

Charters Butchers - Large Pork Pie

2010-09-22T07:47:00.001-07:00

Wikipedia will have you believe that the first pies were developed around 9,500bc during the Egyptian Neolithic period, but as any Yorkshireman will tell you, t' pie were created in gods own country long before t'gyptians got hold of it. I was therefore delighted to find that this weeks pie had arrived overnight from a butchers in Driffield, East Yorkshire, carrying with it the hope and dignity of the nations largest county.

Yorkshire had sent its best for consideration, and by best I mean largest. This pie was massive, a meal for a family of 4 if served with mushy peas. It wasn’t just the scale of the pie that impressed though, it was obviously a locally baked delicacy. The pie crust displaying signs of hand crafting and the filling having escaped a little during cooking, glazing part of the top. Not only that, but the pie arrived in a white paper bag, twisted at the corners and with a slight transparency where the goodness of the pie had passed into the bag. We are dealing here with an artisanal behemoth, unfettered by shipping and storage concerns.

Cutting into the beast took some effort, although the pastry maintained structural integrity, the sheer meatiness of the filling meant that a sharper knife would have been appropriate. Having taken out a slice and inspected the centre it was obvious that this was a very meaty pie. The filling having a chopped meat consistency and amply filling the pie crust from top to bottom. An onlooker remarked that the aroma could be detected a good 5 yards away, by this point, whether through hunger or pie-pheremones, the crowd were becoming increasingly excited.

With a delicate seasoning and a subtle crust, the meat was the hero in this confection. Chunky, chopped meat bringing a mouth-feel for a pie that in this reviewers opinion will take some beating. A special mention must be made for the jelly in this pie, far removed from the rubbery lining so common in the supermarket pie, the jelly in this little slice of heaven helped not only to fill the gaps between meat and pastry, but also between meat and meat... so textured was the filling. This jelly was of a particularly light nature and was a credible partner for the meat and an integral part of the taste.

Suffice to say that this pie redefined standards on the blog. One Scottish taster, a beatific smile across his face, idly wondered aloud whether that was the best pie tested yet.

Flavour balance: Pastry 20%, Pork 50%, Seasoning 10%, Gelatine 20%

Overall Score: 9/10

Sainsbury's basics 4 Pork Pies

2010-08-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

Our first budget pie review. Four classic 110g pies in a cheap plastic film with a bonus flimsy plastic tray, this tasting session wasn't starting off too well. Going on first impressions these pies frankly looked dull. Glaze was very minimal and they looked tough and unappetising.

Now trying not to judge pie by it's crust we ploughed on with this tasting session and the cutting took place. This pie was one tough cookie slicing with a firm resistance to the knife during pork penetration although with minimal breakage the outer crusty protection.

Once cut-up and splayed open like a cheap hooker on Friday night this pie revealed a grey mass of lacklustre pork meat packed hard inside with no room to breath. The meat was firmly pushing against the dry walls of the crust. Disappointingly there was no jelly to help the pork slip down more easily and was definitely missing from the taste.

This pie did have a meaty taste but was distinctly lacking any lingering flavour from seasoning or quality meat, maybe that is explained by the 47% meat content. Another expert taster noted the "bland after-crust" which developed following mastication.

On the plus side it was very morish and disappeared pretty quickly with one of our directors salivating for a second helping. Sadly another one opted for ketchup as a complimentary condiment. Sacrilege!

All this sounds very negative however remember this pie is a budget pie. Now here's the killer point. This pack of pies cost 98p! YES! That's a whopping 24.5p of pie.

Flavour balance: Pastry 52%, Pork 47%, Seasoning 1%

Overall Score: 7/10

Delisanté ham hock, apple & cider pie

2010-07-27T03:43:00.001-07:00

This latest review comes on the back of renewed interest in the pork pie blog, which is warmly received by this author. It's great to have you reading.

So on to the pie!

With this manufacturer being a novel treat for me, I thought it best to introduce them. From their website: "Delisanté was formed in 2006 with the aim to deliver a new level of delicatessen quality, freshness and taste with a range of handmade, artisan deli products that one would only find in the best restaurants and fine food stores." These lofty aspirations can only serve to introduce the question - does their pie meet the discerning criteria of the Pork me panel?

This large pie is presented for purchase as individual slices or as a complete roundel, we tested three slices at 125g each. Packaging serves to showcase the pie well, simple green and black surrounds framing the pink and pastry slice within. Unfortunately on reviewing the reverse of the packaging, this pie was discovered to be unsuitable for nut allergy sufferers. This instantly discounted one of the panel, the disappointment was palpable. We'd make a point here that we do prefer our pies accessible to all - there's no nuts named as individual ingredients so why is the pie not suitable for nut allergy sufferers?

On removing the packaging, the pie was unveiled to great interest. Cutting proceeded well; while this isn't a firm pork pie by any standards it held together nicely. Some pastry flake-age and a distinct lack of crunch while slicing through the base was noted. These signals point to a rather soggy pastry, that only tasting would be able to confirm.

Indeed the pastry surrounding the pie does come across as very moist, almost quiche-like in texture. The meat is gloriously tender, although not as firmly packed as your average pork pie. If pushed, this reviewer would place it as somewhere between corned beef and pulled pork. These features lead to a delicate, almost airy mouth feel, giving the impression of a far lighter pie than expected. In terms of taste, the filling certainly overshadows the pastry with apple and cinnamon top notes over a slightly smoky ham base. Although there's no salty gelatine present at all, the pie has been well seasoned, perhaps a little too much, so the pie really does punch above its weight on the tongue.

The taste does sour a little with a slight acrid aftertaste - not the usual lard moistness. On consulting the ingredients list, the use of margarine in the pastry could well be the responsible factor - or perhaps the large variety of preservatives used (sodium nitrite, potassium nitrite, sodium metabisulphate and potassium sorbate) could be the cause? Either way - I can't see these ingredients meeting Delisanté's "ultra fresh, great tasting ingredients" mission statement. Quite a paradox.

When asked "What would you prefer - the Tesco pie from last week or this one?" - I hesitated. This pie is certainly a more palatable option, but the novel taste, textures and ingredients make it diffirent proposition to your classic porker. This makes this pie something out of the ordinary, and something we're glad to see broadening the range of pork pies. With it's fruity flavour and light texture we can see this becoming a firm summertime favourite, the perfect snack while supping a glass of cloudy cider at a picnic or garden party.

Flavour balance: Pastry 20%, Pork 50%, Apple (and cider) 20%, Cinnamon 10%, Gelatine 0%

Overall Score: 7.5/10 * (1 point deducted as it is not suitable for nut allergy sufferers)

Tesco's 4 Crispy Bake Pork Pies

2010-07-23T04:14:00.000-07:00

Like your favourite TV show returning after a long break, the first pie review for many months was always going to be a disappointment.

The first thing to note is that these Tesco pies came in a pack of four. The perfect party pack it would seem - but it would be a strange guest who wished such a mediocre pie on their friends or significant other. Unless you were in the strange position of organising catering for a party of bastards, this really is hard a pack to recommend.

It must be said that things started off well, with the pie proving a delight to slice open, for all but the most cack-handed of fans. However, the ease with which the pie can be cut appears to have come at the price of other (some would say more important) attributes.

For one thing, these crispy pork pies were not in any way crispy. How such a blatent miss-representation got past Food Standards I will never know. If anything the pastry was overly soft, with the liquid fat glaze on the exterior suggesting the jelly had some how penetrated the surface.

Adding further evidence to the wondering jelly theory is the total lack of lubricant around the perimeter of the meat. We went through several rounds of porking, but by the time the last portion came around it was just too dry to keep going.

The meat itself was also of a poor quality. Once again, the packaging had claimed the pork was seasoned, but frankly the only real flavour was that of the pastry. They may as well just remove the meat all together and add yet another lie to the label.

Overall, the lack of jelly and meat flavour created a very shallow pork pie experience. There was no meat flavour to cling on to, leaving just a dirty post-swallow feeling, with no lingering pork taste to make up for it.

Luckily for Tesco, a poor pork pie is better than no pork pie at all.

Flavour balance: Pastry 80%, Pork 15%, Gelatine 5%

Overall Score: 3/10

Morrison's Large Pork Pie with Egg

2008-11-16T07:05:00.001-08:00

Before we start let's be clear - this pie made me late for work. That's right. Precious time was lost getting this pie from the fridge in the morning, time that cost me my train connection.

On another, more serious, note it has to be said, this was the pie that broke all the rules.

We have tended to stick to small pies in this blog. We like to maintain a high crust-to-filling ratio, and a small pie is guaranteed to deliver on this score. This pie was large and was taking us into new territory.

The pie had been refrigerated during the day and someone had pushed it to the back of the fridge, meaning part of it was over-chilled when we retrieved it for eating. We left the pie to approach room temperature before unwrapping.

Cutting the pie was a firm experience, but lacking some of the biscuity crispness we like. The base was a good consistency and clear of any lard. The lid was similarly clean. The first cut caused the pie to collapse. Once this initial incision had been made normal cutting service was resumed.

The egg was offset from the centre and the yoke, needless to say, was offset in the egg. This is where the pie delivered a completely unexpected personality never before experienced by the eaters of this blog.

The revelation was that this pie was dominated by meat. The lower crust-to-filling ratio brought the meat to the fore. The egg, despite expectations, acted as a texture and seasoning agent by bringing a salty flavour and lighter texture to the meat.

We have had some pies that are over-seasoned, particularly with pepper. This pie, without the egg, would have been acceptable but meaty. Potentially too meaty. The egg balanced the meat perfectly and introduced a personality to each bite that would not have been there had this been meat all the way through.

Flavour balance: meat 45%, pastry 40%, egg 10%, gelatine 5%.

Overall score: 8/10

Tesco's Small Melton Mowbray

2007-11-22T14:31:00.000-08:00

This week's pie is the “Small Melton Mowbray” offering from British supermarket giant Tesco. At 71 pence per 140g pie, it's easy to see how the retailer made over £2 billion last year in profits, the question is - has any of the cash been reinvested in product improvement?

On opening the greaseproof paper, the pies were a sight to behold. Resplendent in dark pastry cases, they sat up in the stout manner of a well formed porker. Further examination of the pies showed a translucent, lard covered base which some found to be a little off-putting. As this reviewer isn't one to be discouraged by a little extra fat, this greasy delight was thoroughly welcome, and expected to impart extra flavour and additional succulence.

The pies cut well, with the pastry gently crumbling with the texture of a digestive biscuit. Surprisingly, while on inspection the base seemed to be moist and fat laden, on cutting it was solid and slightly crispy. This unexpected event prompted squeals of barely concealed glee at the prospect of tasting a pork pie imparting such contrary impressions.

The selected quarter was exposed and turned to face outwards, revealing the firm pork glory within. The meat within was extremely tightly packed, surrounded by just a hint of jelly, to which one reviewer was moved to comment “I love it when my meat touches the sides”. However you interpret this, the firm and full filling looked sure to supply more than adequate savoury satisfaction.

Unfortunately the pie once again contradicted these lofty expectations with a dull and unexciting taste. While not offensive, the meat was certainly not as flavour packed as it was tightly packed in the pie. Maybe I desire for a heavily seasoned filling, but this slightly insipid meat certainly didn’t enrapture the eater.

On the other hand the pastry shell of this small Melton Mowbray pie did live up to it’s billing, having texture and taste that was slightly biscuit like, confirming earlier observations, and providing a stark contrast to the disappointing filling.

It’s tough to draw conclusions from this review – this pie promised much and delivered little. While expectations were built of a fat, firm and fine pork delight, it left the tasters on this panel rather ambivalent about the proposition of finishing the pie.

By constructing a product that is firmly in the middle of the pork pie pecking order, Tesco have managed to neither delight nor offend this panel, an response that is perhaps Tesco’s biggest achievement. This strategy is exactly what has allowed them to dominate the competitive supermarket niche. By appealing to all, and offending none, they can shift larger volumes of product than any other retailer in the British Isles.

To answer my original question: Yes. This pork pie has been designed and improved. Unfortunately enhancements have been made not to taste and texture benchmarks, but to Tesco's balance sheet and profit forecasts. By moulding their pies to cause least offence, Tesco have come up with a product entirely uninspiring and exciting. And there’s the rub. To attain the heights that a truly great pork pie can achieve, you need to put culinary perfection before profits.

Flavour balance: meat 15%, pastry 80%, gelatine 5%.

Overall score: 7/10

Sainsbury's

2007-11-15T12:45:00.000-08:00

Pork pie review by guest Canadian reviewer

I felt honoured and privileged to be asked to write this weeks review for Team Pork pie. I've lived in the UK now for almost 7 years and not once have tried a pork pie. Suffering from a bad hangover today, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to feast on some meaty greasy comfort food.

This week we are trying Sainsbury's own brand. On first sight, the generic packaging and cello wrap was slightly off putting. I suggested warming them up and was met with a resounding "NO!!" Alright then. (note to self, if I ever try them again a little sneaky zap in the oven MIGHT help).

The pastry was very thick, and Diji was impressed by its slightly matt finish. I would have preferred a lighter flakier crust and especially that it was eaten cold, it felt very greasy.

The meat inside was very dense, and on first site resembled dog food. I persevered. I'll leave it up to Melton the Mouth to report on how much meat it contained but it couldn't have been much. It was very low on seasoning and it might have been nice to detect some kind of savory spice. Dunno. The experts noted that there was too much air between the meat by product and

the crust.

In previous reviewing sessions where I was simply observing, I noticed a fair amount of a gelatinous substance surrounding the meat. This scared me. I didn't detect any until the third sample quarter. This I'm afraid was the clincher - trying to maintain a dignified presence when your gag reflex is kicking in is very difficult.

I wasn't entirely impressed by my first ever meat pie, but considering I love meat, and pie, and have a soft spot for meaty greasy food I might be up for trying it again.

This time, from Harrods or Selfridges food hall.

Thanks guys.

Pie 'but I will have a third piece' Eater

Non glossy Diji

Keeping the stats Melton the Mouth

Morrisons Vale of Mowbray

2007-11-08T14:05:00.000-08:00

Frankly, I wasn't looking forward to this pie. Yesterday we'd feasted on Fortnum's finest, and the snob in me eyed up Morrisons' celophane-wrapped, stretching-the-sell-by-date offering with more than a little trepidation.

'Vale of Mowbray'? Made in Bradford, mate. This is a small pie with big pretensions, despite the 79p for two price tag. The label didn't make pleasant reading: 357 calories. Enough additives to pickle Tutankhamun. And the killer admission (for one of our panel, at least): may contain traces of nuts.

Out of the packet. Just an ordinary pie. Dry, neat, perhaps a little too factory-perfect. It cut fairly well, with just the right hint of flakiness.

Sliced into the usual quadrants, all the boxes seemed to have been ticked: a crispy coat, a waxy inside, the solid rump of pinky porky goodness. But wait a minute: where's the gelatinous gooeyness that is the pork pie's stock in trade?

(Call me a pork pie philistine, but I've never been terribly keen on oodles of jelly in my pie, so in me, the little pie from oop North was already winning an admirer.)

Taste test. At first munch, the main sensation was a pleasant crunchiness. No undue moistness, no overbearing saltiness. But the anticipated bouquet of well-seasoned pork just didn't materialise. In fact, at no stage did this pie reveal itself as containing any flavour of meat at all.

In this pie, Morrison's have put texture before taste, shelf-life before seasoning, mechanically-reclaimed manufacturing before perky piglets, popping out of the pie to prance on your palette.

And yet, and yet. As my fellow taster put it: "I could eat this pie all day". There I am, an aficionado of all things organic and artisanal, munching pretty happily on this unassuming little offering. It's trash, I know it, but like so much other junk food, there's something unexpectedly comforting about it. Even if that something isn't flavour.

Flavour balance: meat 10%, pastry 90%, gelatine 0%.

Overall score: 7/10

Fortnum and Mason

2007-11-07T09:25:00.001-08:00

Following last weeks' disappointing offering from Marks and Spencer we took no chances and ate like kings with a £3.50 pie from the counter at Fortnum and Mason. Admittedly we did break rank here by leaving the supermarkets for 'specialist pie' but when there's pie in the house it's got to be eaten.

Before we proceed with the review we must dedicate it to Sarah for she supplied the offering.

Game on! Initial signs were good with the posh paper wrapping complete with the Fortnum and Mason livery. Carefully pulling away the wrapping revealed a pie that immediately caused controversy. There was a prominent glaze on top and the walls, well they were semi-opaque with not a hint of unnecessary grease. This pie was indeed a tart. Let's not be judgemental just yet though, it's what's inside that counts.

Cutting in to the pie I was frankly a little worried as the walls didn't look like they'd take the pressure when under the knife. Re-assuringly the walls did not buckle and the pie cut smoothly into quadrants to reveal an attractive spread of pork and gelatine with a very clean cut. Please note for our tests we only ever use a cheap dining knifes.

The pork assuringly was not too densely packed revealing itself as a balanced meaty mass with an elastic memory when force was removed. You won't often see this feature in a standard factory pie where the meat is normally tightly packed in. The quantity of gelatine was spot on and not too gelatinous.

Biting in to this pie was a beautiful and enlightening experience quite like none other I've ever experienced with pie. The pastry was not the slightest crunchy and not a single crumb dropped off my chin. This did not offend me, though my fellow tasters might have preferred a little more crunchiness.

Beyond the pastry this pie tasted of pork and nothing else. As one of our tasters put it this pie is all about the meat, And I'd agree. As I sank my teeth into the meat it melted away with the pastry and my taste buds were tingling with the taste of quality pork. The gelatine provided a nice transition between pork to pastry digestion.

In conclusion this pie was a triumph in my eyes though I do need to take the other taster views in to consideration. For some the lack of crunchiness in the pastry was a concern as this may be considered as a mandatory feature of the pork pie family. This pie pushes the boundaries of pork pie making with the emphasis on taste and experience. Definitely one to try before you die.

Flavour balance: meat 65%, pastry 15%, gelatine 20%.

Overall score: 8.5/10

Marks and Spencers

2007-11-01T07:38:00.000-07:00

Purchased on 1st November and best before 1st November...hmmm...come on M&S we think your stock management might need some attention. Does display until the 1st mean display on the 1st or remove on the 1st? Anyway, let's talk pie.

No issues with the packaging, no air holes or tears so this pie should be in good condition.

First impresson, the pie looks okay, a good shine, no obvious fat on top, just enough roughness in shape to look 'real'.

Touching the pie. It's a bit softer than I was expecting. This might be the best before issue rearing its ugly head. I'm now wondering if the shine betrays a limp pastry.

Pass the knife. Taking a standard knife from a cutlery set I cut the pie into quarters. This pie is definitely sinking under the pressure. The edge crust should be hard against the knife, with a little crumble, but instead it is giving way too easily. It could be worse, but this is not looking good.

The cut surface of the pie meat is textured like a fine sandpaper, this could be a cleaner cut.

The pie crust is even all round, a good quality.

The gelatine is distributed very unevenly, tending to sit in one place. Now I like a good mouthful of gelatine as much as the next man, but with a pie it's nice to spread it around.

Eating the pie is a disappointing experience. The pie components seem to share a common consistency. The crust does not differentiate itself enough. The meat is understated and I'm left with the lingering saltiness of the gelatine.

Flavour balance: meat 35%, pastry 45%, gelatine 20%.

Overall score: 6/10